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From my heart-original don’t steal

Dear lord grant me a wall.
A wall to guard this vulnerable
heart that longs
for love and affection.

Dear lord I don’t wish
For apathy
I just don’t want to
Feel shattered and
Broken.

Dear lord grant this heart
An ear. An ear to listen
To my mind. Who is not so
Easily tricked by those eyes

Dear lord I beg for a wall.
A wall to guard this venerable
Heart that longs for
Love and affection.

From my heart-original don’t steal

I’m the picture in the magazine
The porn star on the screen
The forbidden fruit, calling your name
The animal desire
Taunting you every moment, breath

I’m the dangerous
The fast track to the wild side
Not seen as substance-
Just a face and a body with curves
The whore. Slut. Sex
Fun and free…

I’m not the one to meet Mom
Not the one to have you on one knee
Not the kind to love
Not the picturesque family portrait
Not the one in the spotlight

I’m the secret you hold in
Or spill out with guilt gnawing
The different. The loud.
Tattoos- piercings- brain
not silly. Plain. Wife
What am I?

Please feel privileged. This is my poetry…. Please don’t steal it! It is from the heart

It’s not my fault you don’t want me.
It’s you. It’s on you that you chose otherwise,
But why do I torment myself
wondering my own imperfections
I’m sick of thinking, “what is wrong with me?”

I’m loud, outspoken, and sometimes obnoxious.
I’m a leader. I’m strong. I want to world.
My trust issues are through the roof.
Everything you say is a game
Where you make the rules.

Taunting me, dragging my soul down
Down to the murky prison
Making me feel like a madwoman
Pulling all my strings, pushing my buttons
All for my flower.

To pluck me.
Put me in a vase for a day
Until I wither and die.
Or no longer serve the purpose.
Then it’s back to the garden

I know this.
I am not blind
I am no longer naive.
I walk willingly into the lion’s den
Knowing I will be devoured

Some cut themselves
My scars are on the inside
Deep, somehow always fresh.
Pieces are missing
And keep going back to the blade

I pray for apathy.
A heart full of wonder
Isn’t meant to live long.
My heart. Tiny broken. Pathetic.

My eyes see it. The window to the soul.
My Soul is strong and independent
It sees the devil coming
And in that, The future

If only my heart didn’t
Put a veil over Reality.
Showing only a perfect
Illusion. Love isn’t real.
It’s a sick and twisted nightmare.

Twist and turn.
The sad part is
You aren’t even sorry.
Walking around in bliss.
You aren’t even punished

Satisfied and already
Preying on another
your smile will
Bring into the viper pit.

So just forget it
I give up, I walk away
Because what I want and
what I get Will never be the same